So the day is here.
I have this post set to go live at the exact time that I should be sitting down at a desk and willingly preparing to enter 5 hours of hell for a little bit of Heaven. That’s right. As you read this, I am taking the dreaded GRE right now. I have studied hard, sweated, have doubted myself and abilities an incredible amount, have felt smart, and have felt weak. In short– it’s been the hardest damn thing I’ve committed to this year. Now I am hoping that it’s a bit of payoff.
I’ve missed workouts, gone through several sleepless nights, worried myself silly, felt as powerful as a Celtic Warrior and and as frightened as a child in a thunderstorm. I’ve cried, believing that this one moment in time will define everything, and I’ve laughed just as much realizing the pointlessness of worry. Basically, I’ve gone through all the emotions one can go with this part of the “process”. One of the things it’s taken me a long time to finally “grasp” is that this one piece doesn’t make or break my future or career. My perfectionistic tendencies have basically just been invited to a party and have invited everyone else to come along, as well. I will say this, I’ve played over worst case scenarios and best case scenarios all day, night and month. I’ve worked as hard as I could and definitely have prayed as much as anyone could for a good score. What more can be done at this point instead of work hard, pray hard, succeed?
Such a weight will be off my shoulder around the time of say, 2:00 p.m. I don’t know where I’m going, but I do know, I will immediately seek out and find a Sam Adams Winter Lager. I will have a nice lunch. And I will be thankful for making it this far.
So many moments pass in a day and so many things happen to define who we are and what we will become. How many people switch religions? Or decide to get married? Or decide to change careers? Or dare to dream? Or take a risk?
My goal with this test is to “make it”, whatever “it” is that I am making (heh).
I’ve had a lot of blood, lot of sweat and a lot of tears. As you read this, here’s hoping that it’s all worthwhile
And this is actually the easiest part of the process. Up next? Applications, and Statement of Purpose.
After that Winter Lager? I’ll be heading off to Barnes and Nobles. It’s definitely nerve wracking…
but at the end of the day? I absolutely love this lifestyle. But the emotional roller coasters it can take you on? Wow.
While I’m away trying to take my life in my own hands here, don’t forget– if you’re up for guest posting here, I still have a few slots open.
Well, I have a few days left to study although by the time you read this, my fate will be sealed.