These are my all time favorite pair of swim trunks.
I know I still haven’t learned to swim just yet. But these swim trunks mean the world for me. You see back in August, I took a trip to one of the best places on earth. Hawaii. I went for business but it was the leisure side of things that really has always stuck in my heart some 3 months later. Hawaii was where I really got a chance to discover something: Life with family.
It is family that really builds the foundation of our hopes and dreams and gets us to achieve those dreams. When my family calls me and tells me they are proud of the man I’ve become, that makes me smile. When I speak with my father and we laugh on the phone for a bit, I am joyful. When my sisters tell me I am a “good man”, I feel so proud and want to be an even better one.
When I hold my baby’s hand and walk along the beach with her, as she fusses at the kids, screaming out both names… I can’t imagine life without her. Or them. In Hawaii, I realized something that touched me more than any business related event ever could. I realized… I fit. I actually fit. It sounds so simple, yet the phrase “I fit” has eluded me for a life time. Think of all the nomenclature used for the perennial loner, and that’s me: nomad, lone wolf, wanderer, here today gone tomorrow, lone rider. That has been me my entire life. Be in high school, especially in undergrad. Not so much in grad school.
Hawaii was different because the feeling of fitting in, of being the 4th puzzle piece to a jigsaw consisting of only 3. As we all walked along a busy street in Waikiki, amidst buses with Korean and Japanese writing, and scores of tourists taking photos, the one prevalent thought that appeared over and over is “this just fits”. It does. As we sat around the swimming pool making jokes and laughing. As we went to hard rock cafe and had dinner.
As we sat and bought skateboards (and argued about it afterwards!).
As we sat and had coconut flavored pancakes (WHY can’t I find that anywhere in NC?!?).
As we sat outside a hotel on a cold night having very serious talks. About friendship in love.
As I woke up Sunday morning sending the most heart felt email I’ve ever written to the woman I love while over looking the pacific ocean.
All I can think about is that she represents my future. She represents my heart. She represents my family. I’ve spoken before about restoration. But who knew that the Lord could treat me so good? When you’ve found home, nothing will ever make you leave it. When you’re wondering, you leave home every night. I leave Raleigh frequently— because it isn’t home to me. It never truly has been. Never shall it be really.
But I do know where my home is. I do know where my family lies. And I do know the central part of my future. And it’s with her. I feel so powerful with her. I’m know I’m going a little link happy in this post, but the truth is, if you read the last year’s worth of post the common theme running through is that for once…I’m happy. And loved. And not alone. And I couldn’t be more thrilled.
Hawaii represents happiness. Not just because of flaunting bikini bodies. Not just because of watching my lover get taken out by a wave on a boogie board which was quite funny as she screamed ‘That’s dangerous!!”). But the memories we all shared as a family that day. WOW!
I love you, baby. I love our soon to be “unified” family. I love our future. And I love that the Lord brought us here to be together. Hawaii will always be our spot. And it will always be where I first got the blessing of seeing our life together. I love you, baby.
So these are more than swim trunks to me. They are a symbol. A symbol of the love I have in my life. And the hope I have in my future with you.
The best blessing I ever received in my life was being able to love and marry my very best friend. And be with you for life.